Health is one of the main conditions of human happiness, and the sexual health is an inseparable part of general health. The main components of sexual health are as follows:
1. Sexual pleasure in accordance with social and individual norms;
2. Presence of sexual full relationship;
3. Absence of fear, shame, a sense of sin, false imaginations over sexuality;
4. Absence of organic other diseases preventing sexual and childbirth function.
Survey analysis done by us shows that there are a number of problems and difficulties in young families. Majority of young spouses considers that there is no harmony in their sexual life, percent of dissatisfaction is high which significantly exceeded our expectations. On the other hand, our facts witness that high percent form the spouses who don’t even realize that they have serious problems, who have contradictory imaginations about sexual life, illusive expectations from sexual life and from partner. There are also spouses who suffer and are deprived of sexual life’s pleasurable activity. It’s also distinctive that in the beginning of marital relationship sexual desire was higher than it is at the present moment. Spouses consider that romantic fact of being in love has disappeared and there are home hardships as well.
Our data let us conclude that there exists a serious problem of sexual disharmony in a lot of young families which can do harm to sexual health and cause/lead to dissatisfaction, despair and disappointment.
And what is sexual disharmony?
Any kind of psychological, emotional and physical dissatisfaction aroused between partners, which becomes the reason of preventing sexual harmony, is considered to be sexual disharmony. So sexual disharmony is a different kind of disagreement in sexual intercourse.
Sexual disharmony is manifested by reduction of sexual need, the desire to have a sexual intercourse with the very person decreases, as well as erectile dysfunction (impotence) occurs, and women confront frigidity (absence of sexual desire), frequency of feeling orgasm reduces or it disappears at all.
Which are the reasons of sexual disharmony?
The reason of sexual disharmony is often associated with male and female personal psychological and physical incompatibility. Personal-psychological incompatibility is apparent in case when personal peculiarities of spouses are quite different, that’s to say that level of their development and education is different, different are also their views over material and vital values, intellectual-cultural requirements, customs, relish, interests and inclinations. Such incompatibility is accompanied by disability of sharing their feelings together, by under- or overestimate of others which becomes the reason of becoming alien to each other. Negative emotions towards partner such as fear, hatred, indifference, hinder a person to devote him/herself fully to sexual sensation and just to trust the partner during sexual intimacy. And when spouses remain indifferent to each other during the whole life, they’ll never obtain interpersonal deep link and thus sexual harmony.
Personal incompatibility causes conflict situations which influence on sexual relationship with time. Reasons of conflict and displeasure with each other aren’t often realized by spouses, and as a main reason, consequences of the mentioned incompatibility are considered, for example unstable state of mind or sexual dysfunctions. In such cases intrapersonal and sexual difficulties generate a vicious circle in a couple’s mutual relations.
In spite of the above mentioned, sexual disharmony can also occur in case of harmonious intrapersonal relations. This situation is quite difficultly solved especially by a woman in case when she loves her husband, but meantime she would like to leave him as she isn’t sexually satisfied. Conflict intrapersonal relations can be not accompanied by sexual disharmony but with time they can have a negative influence on sexual intercourses and lower the couple’s sexual activity.
The other reason is physiological disorders. Erectile dysfunction (impotence), early ejaculation, decrease or increase of sexual activity belong to men, women confront low sexual desire, vaginism, genitalgia, delayed sexual manifestations (infantilism) , as well as inflammatory diseases of genitals and neural-psychic dysfunctions. That’s why treatment and diagnosis of the mentioned problems increase for prophylaxis (prevention) of sexual disharmonies.
What does erectile dysfunction mean?
Male erection is characterized by sizes of penis and acquisition of its firmness.
Erectile dysfunction is a continuously repeated or permanent inhibition of sexual irritation during sexual activity which is manifested by occurrence of erection or partial or full disability up to end of sexual intercourse. Erectile dysfunction belongs to the number of sexual disorders which really concerns men. Sometimes men are so much fixed upon extension level of their sexual organ that after one failed attempt they refer the sexual intercourse as a menacing trial and start to control it within the whole coitus. The threat of losing erection becomes the reason of sexual fear which diverts attention from immediate feeling of pleasure towards firmness of penis. In this phase the main aim of treatment is the eradication of the existing alarm. There are organic and psychological erectile dysfunctions (ED). Their external manifestations are usually the same. It often needs more attentive and detail conversation in order to reveal the distinguishing information that is very important for diagnosis of ED’s type. It is important to explain each detail which causes ED.
What is early ejaculation?
Early ejaculation is characterized by the following criteria:
- such permanent or regularly repeated ejaculation that occurs after short irritation, immediately after entrance of vagina or during it. Only the doctor can give diagnostic mark of irritation stage by taking into account a series of criteria such as age, partner’s or sexual irritant, preceding duration of sexual abstinent period;
- disorder seriously concerns the very person or may cause a discontent to the partner which becomes a source of intrapersonal problems;
- early ejaculation mustn’t be the result of any remedy or direct effect of other substance.
There are absolute and relative early ejaculation. The absolute ejaculation is the one which occurs at the first moment of coitus, and during which the partner doesn’t get any sexual satisfaction. The relative ejaculation is that the period of its origin isn’t enough to satisfy the partner.
What is low sexual desire?
Low sexual desire (frigidity) is characterized by false sexual imagination, decrease of sexual desire or full absence which seriously disturbs the person or causes intrapersonal problems and isn’t conditioned by any basic disease. Extreme level of sexual desire decrease is the reason of appearance of sexual aversion. Sexual aversion is a feeling of disgust and active avoidance from sexual life which causes intrapersonal problems, disturbs the person and isn’t conditioned by any basic disease.
What Does Vaginism Mean?
Vaginism is a repeated or permanent diagnostic state during which takes place outer one third involuntary contraction of vagina by making sexual intercourse impossible. Sometimes insuperable sense of fear is the reason of vaginsim development. Fear from coition or deflowering gets acuminated immediately during sexual intercourse by generating involuntary contractions which makes the coitus impossible. And on the basis of fear lies false information or just unawareness. Besides vaginism development is much frequently contributed by absence of communication between partners. So vaginsim is sometimes the consequence of intrapersonal problems which in itself worsens it.
What is genitalgia (dyspareunia)?
Dyspareunia is a regular or permanent pain during sexual intercourse which face both women and men. It is associated with peculiarities of female sexuality; psychological factors, dependence of sexual manifestations on an individual attempt and ,what’s more important, the partner’s personal features. The above mentioned preconditions decide sexual life’s quality of a woman. Dyspareunia can be result of unconscious conflicts towards sexual life. Despite it is confronted by both men and women, it is more frequently faced by girls. Pain can occur in case of insufficient arousal. Pain can be consequence of muscular tension which causes great difficulties for realizing mission, and frictions can lead to trauma of mucous membrane.
As it is already mentioned, quality of female sexual life depends on intrapersonal relationships. Disability of verbalizing conflicts, in relation to women’s uncertainty and too much modesty, leads to activation of “body language”. During sexual intimacy occurrence of pain is a verbal manifestation to deny a partner.
Sexual difficulties and problems aren’t very often attached much importance to and are neglected by spouses whereas not curing and revealing them in time can lead to personal neurotization and functional dysfunctions in sexual sphere. Female sexual disharmony can be caused by male rude attitude, insufficient stimulus of erogenic zones or their full absence.
Sexual incompatibility can be conditioned by inconsistency of their sexual behavior and sexual constitution.
Development of negative position directed to sexual intimacy is contributed by the partner’s physical factor (speech, mimicry, smell which is special to the person), as well as when s/he has lost his/her erotic attractiveness because of not looking after her/himself properly.
One of the reasons of sexual disharmony, as it is mentioned above, is the inconsistency of the couple’s physical peculiarities. In sexology physiological assessment of sexual peculiarities is called sexual constitution.
What is sexual constitution?
Sexual constitution is entirety of organism’s biological peculiarities which is formed by influence of hereditary factors. Level of sexual need and sexual activeness depend on sexual constitution as well as resistance on sexual function. Sexual constitution decides intensity of sexual manifestations, that is sexual temper. In case of light sexual constitution sexual manifestations are expressed weakly, frequency of sexual life isn’t high, on the other hand they are very sensitive towards harmful factors influencing on sexual function. As for strong sexual constitution sexual dysfunctions may be occurred by influence of strong and regular disinfecting impulse.
Sexual disharmony is also developed by lack of knowledge about psychohygienic and physiological norms of sexual function, or wrong imagination about origin of sexual disorders. For example, in our society there is a spread false opinion that onanism (self-satisfaction, masturbation) can cause sexual weakness (impotence) end etc.
What is psychohygiene?
1. It is necessary to create favorable conditions for intimate relations:
• spouses should be alone in the bedroom;
• before a sexual intercourse hygienic conditions are obligatory for both of them;
• the most important factor that you should remember is that intimate relationship begins not from bed.
2. It isn’t necessary to have a talk on business and unpleasant themes before a sex.
3. Frequency of sexual relationships must be appropriate to their both desire.
4. There is no need to plan the rhythm of sexual intimacy beforehand, otherwise sometimes it becomes as a marital debt and spouses face sexual failures.
5. Any type of sexual activity is permissible between loving spouses if it is chosen by their own will.
6. Men should remember that female erogenic zones give an answer to caresses when a woman is psychologically ready. And erogenic zones can change during years which becomes a reason of doing some changes in the sexual life – to find out new ones.
7. Erogenic zones depend on a woman’s arousal type. Penetration of pelvis should be done when the woman is fully aroused.
8. Double sexual intercourse must be desirable for both of them. It’s necessary to remember that not all men are able to have a double sexual intercourse.
In case of mutual love and understanding sexual difficulties can decrease twice. Love is considered as a powerful factor to prevent as sexual as intrapersonal disharmony. There is such an opinion that absence of necessary feeling for sexual harmony can be compensated by using some technical skills. But if there is no mutual love and respect, sexual disharmony is impossible to provide.
As sexual disharmonies are considered as a pathological state for sexual dysfunctions, it’s necessary to carry a sexological consultation, then if necessary, marital and family therapy. When sexual dysfunctions are found out psychotherapy, pharmacotherapy, physiotherapy and acupuncture are performed.
